Relationships are all saccharine-sweet when they start out but once the honeymoon phase is over, you start seeing the real person underneath. I’m not saying that all nice guys are actually psychopaths underneath; most probably aren’t. But sometimes you need to watch out for those signs that tell you, you need to get out of this relationship before things get worse. Here are ten reasons why you probably need to find a new match for yourself.
- I’ll Love You Always Forever
They fall in love with your almost as soon as you’ve met and are ready to plan out your whole life together. It’s normal to be infatuated with someone but when he’s proposing to you after 4 dates, you need to take a step back. His rapid attachment now will probably either lead to rapid detachment later or make him clingy and overly possessive about you.
- On the Beaten Track
Any guy who’s being rough with you, pushing you around and worse, beating you – needs to be dropped like a hot brick ASAP. He’ll make you feel like you deserved it or apologize profusely later and make you believe it will never happen again. It probably will, so get out of there.
- Killer Confidence or Confidence Killer?
In the honeymoon phase he’ll probably tell you all these wonderful things about you, but soon he’ll start chipping away at your confidence. He’ll make remarks about everything from your looks to your personality and if you thought you were good at something, he’ll convince you you’re not. Not only does this kill your self confidence but you also end up feeling like you’re not good enough for him, or for anyone else.
- Temper Tantrums
Does he have a temper that makes him vicious and even violent? Initially it might seem like you’re not going to be a victim of his temper, but trust me, sooner or later you will be. He’ll start by throwing things, punching the wall, swearing and then slowly start taking it out on you as well.
- Withdrawal Symptoms
Is he controlling your life? Sometimes a guy can make you withdraw from friends and family. It’s his way of gaining complete control over you so they will tell you your friends aren’t true friends; that your family doesn’t really care about you and the like. They usually do this so the people you’re close to can’t tell you you’re dating a loser. Also, if there are activities you like doing by yourself, like say, going for a run, they will either insist on accompanying you all the time or completely withdraw you from the activity. By withdrawing you from your support and from your life as you knew it, they’re gaining the control they enjoy.
- Mine, Mine, Mine
Is your guy a little too possessive? Does he hate it when your cousin (a boy) hugs you? If he’s not trying to make you withdraw, he will openly fight with you about silly things like this. He will be insecure about your guy friends and might even make you feel guilty for having had another boyfriend before him. This isn’t necessarily because he loves you so much but more because he's insecure and wants to control every part of your life. He probably won’t even like it if you smile at the waiter because he thinks you’re his property. You know this is trouble right?
- The Blame Game
Only a loser will blame everything on everyone but himself. Ask him why he hasn’t ever been in a serious relationship, and he’ll tell you all his ex-girlfriends were psychopaths. And then he’ll tell you he hasn’t had a stable job since 1999 because all his colleagues have always been backstabbers. Stay with him long enough and you’ll find out that soon he’ll be blaming you for everything that’s wrong with his life and every fight you guys have will always be your fault!
- Secrets Are For Keeping
If you’re keeping things secret just because you know he’ll “disapprove” or convince you not to do them, it’s definitely unhealthy. You should be able to go for drinks with the girls if you like, without having to tell him you need to stay back at work. If he’s making you feel guilty about doing stuff there normally shouldn’t be any guilt about, the guy’s controlling your life, and you’re letting him.
- The Personality Switch
When you have to face the yo-yo treatment, there’s something wrong. He’ll go through cycles of being a total psychopath and then suddenly become the sweetest guy on the planet. When you start living in fear of the next psychopathic phase, you really need to get out.
- Panic! At The Break Up
You know your relationship is toxic so you tell him you’re breaking up. He will instantly become Mr. Sweet Guy who can’t live without you, will beg you to stay and will promise and swear to change. This will probably make you wonder if he’s really all that bad? Chances are, he will not change and once he knows he’s weakened you enough for you to stay, he’ll probably get worse.
Hopefully none of you will have to go through this but if you’re noticing these signs in your relationship, you might seriously need to reconsider. Don’t you think?
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