Is your relationship dying a slow painful death without you even knowing it? These are the Top 10 factors that kill a relationship. Is your relationship a victim?
10. Friends & Family
Your family and friends have been a part of your life before your boyfriend/ girlfriend stepped into the picture. But if your better half is bitter about you hanging out with your peeps and can’t get along with them…it’s a relationship killer. If either of you is forcing the other to choose between the relationship and friends, you could be in trouble. There is no guarantee you will be first choice.
9. Too Much Too Quick
Some whirlwind romances end up in a happily ever after. A majority however end up in heart break and D-I-V-O-R-C-E. If you’re moving too quick, there’s a danger of not knowing the other person well enough. Also, your quick footedness may not be mirrored by your partner and you could end up scaring them off.
8. Day To Day Drama
Real life issues can slowly chip away at a relationship if not handled well enough. Money woes, work pressures, not spending enough time together and daily routines can easily become deal breakers. Addictions, unpleasant habits, constant fault-finding and regular tiffs are also masquerading as relationship murderers.
7. Controlling Behavior
If one of you is intent on controlling the other person’s life and wants to know every move, you know what it means right? Come on, we’re all adults and no one likes being told what to do at every step so if the controlling behavior doesn’t end, the relationship is likely too.
6. Too Dependent/ Independent
Becoming way too dependent on a partner and clinging to them for everything is a relationship no-no. Nobody wants excess baggage and when a partner insists on increasing the load one has to bear, it’s thanks, but no thanks.
The other extreme is people who are so afraid of being controlled in a relationship that they feel the need to assert their independence at every step. Always insisting on doing everything alone and emphasizing you don’t need anyone can translate to: “I don’t need a partner/relationship” for the other person.
Strike a balance!
5. The Stuff You Say
Petty remarks, snide comments, obscenities, name-calling and heated below-the-belt talk is a killer. Some relationships end over one mean remark while others end after it happens repeatedly. Saying mean stuff means the respect for the relationship is dead, and probably, the relationship is dead too.
4. The Third Party
There is no room for a third wheel in a relationship. The third party could be an ex, a persistent someone who’s interested in you/your partner, the best friend, the demanding boss, the parents…. If a third person is a permanent fixture, the relationship takes a back seat, and slowly gets the boot.
3. The Past And The Future
If the past and the future feature in the relationship more than the present, it’s a definite relationship killer. If one partner is living in the past and doesn’t want to move on, it’s hard to enjoy the present with them. The past can also affect relationships if partners can’t relate to each other’s history and this becomes a stumbling block. On the other hand, if one partner has their eyes on the future, and lives every day for that perfect future, the present takes a back seat too. Also, if each partner has different goals and ideas for the future, the relationship might have trouble fitting into the plan.
2. No Communication
Lack of proper communication means no one really knows what’s going on and the relationship just sort of fizzles out.
Ladies
: Stop waiting for the man to guess what you’re feeling. They can’t guess. Just tell them.
Boys
: Put that ego aside and tell the lady how you feel. She won’t think you’re less of a man because you shared your feelings.
1. Cheating
The number one relationship killer without a doubt. Most relationships end the moment one partner finds out they’ve been cheated on. The betrayal is enough and most don’t forgive. Even if some do try to forgive, the trust is gone and a lot of relationships don’t end up working out.
Whether or not you’re in a relationship, hopefully now you know what you need to do to commit relationship suicide. But if you’d rather have a living, breathing relationship – make sure you don’t let these killers in.
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I found this so useful.. sometimes I let my controlling side get the better of me... this has put things into perspective of whats important when you're with somebody. Thank you so much!!!
some guys like controlling women! ;)
Wish I'd read this sooner, I'll know what to look out for now and hopefully not make the same mistakes again. I'm surprised my last relationship lasted as long as it did - 6 months with 7 of the above killers present (3, 4, 5, 7, 8, 9, 10). Thanks for the tips x
Hi Radika, another big NO-NO in a relationship for me, is when one person claims to love the other person, but uses and abuses them in all the ways from A to Z. I do not use and abuse a supposed to be life partner and i very much resent the person, who i think i may be able to marry and have a family with, who just uses and abuses my goodness just because i am a good guy, with a kind and generous heart. I have had too much of that in the past. If a woman cannot accept me as i am, without trying to change me too much, then she is not marriage material for me. Marriage is about give and take, in balance. If there is no balance and common ground, then there is no point in doing it. I hope i do not offend anyone, because i know there a lot of good women out there, i just have not found the right one for me yet.