Finding a special someone can be hard sometimes and you begin to pine over your ex, wishing you’d never broken up at all. Rejection is hard to handle, but what you need to realize is, you CAN’T move on if you don’t get over your ex!
photo by Franco Folini
Here are some tips on how to nurse a broken heart back to health and move on to find a great new partner for yourself.
- Look At It Objectively
Sometimes it is a good idea to figure out why the break-up happened. It may not have not been your fault at all, or it may have partially been your fault. Analyzing this and looking at your relationship objectively in retrospect is important. Some of us tend to romanticize an old relationship once it’s over; forgetting that there probably was something wrong to result in a break-up. Achieve a balance – don’t overly romanticize but don’t just focus on the bitterness either.
- Life Goes On
The end of a relationship can feel like the end of the world, but it is not. Brooding about it endlessly will only make it worse. Life really does go on, so when you’re done with the crying, accept it and make an effort to move on with your life.
- Cry it Out
Crying can be a good vent sometimes and it’s okay to let it out. I am not suggesting you cry over your ex for days and months on end. But your heart is bound to hurt after a break up so accept the hurt, and allow yourself a good cry.
- Its Okay to Hate
It’s also okay to hate your ex (at least for some time!) – for breaking your heart, for wasting your time, for cheating on you, for hurting you, for making you love him…deal with the hate and it’ll make you stronger.
- Write It Down
Sometimes there is a lot of pent up anger and anger that just needs to be let out. Instead of embarrassing yourself by venting this out to your ex, write it down. Pretend you’re writing him a letter and pen down everything you want to say to him. Once you’re done, you’ll probably feel much better. Preferably, throw this letter away. Never, ever actually give it to your ex.
- Don’t Doubt Yourself
A failed relationship doesn’t mean you’re a failure at life so don’t doubt yourself. You can still be great at work/school and life in general, without a relationship. And yes, you will also find love soon; there is no reason to doubt that either!
- Remember The Good Time
It couldn’t have been all bad right? So instead of focusing your energies on trying to figure out what went wrong, just remember the happy memories, and they’ll help you feel more positive.
- Stay Busy
Being busy will mean less time to think about your ex and the break-up. Throw yourself into work. Catch up with friends you didn’t have time for while you were in a relationship. Maybe even take a few classes. Do things you didn’t have the time or energy for earlier. Keeping your mind off the break-up will help you get over it.
- Don’t Play The Blame Game
There is no point in constantly trying to palm the blame off onto the other person. It isn’t a good idea to take all the blame upon yourself either. You may think figuring out who is to blame will make you feel better but there’s really no end to the blame game. So seriously, don’t bother.
- Forgive Them
This one can take time and that is perfectly understandable. You will swing between stages of hating them and wanting them back. But gradually, when you begin to accept that it’s over, forgive them. There’s no point staying angry with your ex because it’s useless. It’s not going to turn back time and restore your relationship. Instead forgive them, and move on.
Break-ups are hard and you need to allow yourself the time to get over it and deal with it. Once you’ve come to terms with the break-up, moving on, and finding a new partner will seem like less of a burden.
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