Hello All,
Sorry I've been away so long and haven't posted anything in a while. But the BBWCupid Blog is back and we're not going away in a hurry this time! I would love to hear from all of you about what you'd like to see on the blog because at the end of the day, this blog is all about YOU.
Considering this is a dating site, I figured its best to kick things off with a dating related post. A common dating concern for many of us is "The Ex" and whether or not its worth going back to them? Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't... so have a read of this post and maybe it'll help you make a decision.
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Sometimes it’s not as simple as a yes or no. There is grey area and a confusing one at that. For some of us, going back to the ex can be very tempting but how do you know when to stop and think and when to run?
Honestly? There is no fool proof method and I guess we can all just hope we’re making the right move. However, consider these questions before you make up your mind.
What Went Wrong?
First things first – what was the problem? Why did you break up in the first place? If you broke it off and regret it now…it might be worth considering. But on the other hand if it was always a difficult relationship, are you sure you want to go through it again? Think about it long and hard. Don’t get swayed by the good memories – this is your chance to look at it from an objective point of view. What went wrong and how do you know it won’t happen again?
Why Do You Want Him Back?
This may require some serious introspection so it’s important you’re very very honest! Do you want another shot at the relationship?
Do you want him back because you’re lonely?
You just want to be in a relationship.
You broke up with him and know it was a big mistake.
You shouldn’t get back together because you “can’t live without him” and other dependent, needy reasons. If you do make up it should be because you believe it can be a good, happy and healthy relationship.
Can Things Be Different?
Obviously there was reason you broke up so what can you do differently this time around? Do you really think you can put your differences aside? If one of you has hurt the other – is forgiveness possible? Are you absolutely sure the relationship can start afresh and not repeat the same mistakes again?
Definite Nos
These situations are a definite no-no so if these circumstances are applicable to you: please don’t get back together. It almost always ends up badly.
- He Cheated On You
For me personally – it’s a blanket no. If he’s cheated on you once he can do it again. I know some women can forgive and start afresh. I’m just not sure it can always work. If he’s cheated on you, I would say no to going back to him.
- Third Party Reasons
If you’re considering get back together because of a third person who’s likely to be happy about your renewed relationship – you’re doing it wrong. For example, a child may be happier with both parents but if as parents you’re not happy with each other, it’s totally pointless. You should only get back together if both of you want it and not for anyone else.
- Abusive Relationships
Did you break up because he was verbally or physically abusive? No matter how much he promises he has changed – how can you really be sure that it won’t happen again? Don’t go back to him – you will find someone who will respect you and appreciate you.
Second-start relationships can sometimes become stronger than they were the first time around. So never say never. But, also remember there’s a reason the guy is your ex and not your current.
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