Dearest Men,
If you haven’t already experienced it yourself, we hate to be the ones to confirm that everything you’ve heard is true. Sometimes, women can’t be happy until they’ve analyzed every last detail about you, themselves and your relationship. One of our favorite ways to do this is by asking you questions – the damned-if-you-did and damned-if-you-didn’t kind. We obviously don’t take your responses at face value but instead look at the “real meaning” behind it so think hard before you answer.
photo by arte_ram
These are the most common questions we’re likely to ask you and hopefully you’re wise to our tricks and know how to answer them.
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Do I Look Fat In This?
“When we ask you how our asses look in a particular pair of jeans, you should always be brutally honest and completely positive at the same time. How you accomplish this is up to you." - Leslie Mann
The correct answer is NEVER a yes. Even if we are big or plus size or fat and what have you, we don’t like it when you say “yes”. An outright “No, of course not!” works in many cases but if we’re in a particularly nitpicky mood (read: PMS), we will choose to read into the prompt “No” as well. The “No” in that case will translate to “You do (look fat) but I’m lying”. In such a situation, the better answer is “You look beautiful…as always.” or something to that effect. How you figure out when to use the ideal response is up to you. Most men say it’s by trial and error.
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What Are You Thinking?
“How peaceful it is when you’re not talking.”
“Football/Baseball/Basketball/ Cricket/Rugby”
“Food”
“Am I gonna get any tonight?”
Al Bundy (To Peg) in Married With Children: “If I wanted you to know, I’d be talking instead of thinking.”
Anything along these lines…is the wrong answer gentlemen. Like I said before, we hate it that you don’t tell us your feelings. So we think the solution to the problem is to ask you what you’re thinking and trick you into revealing you feelings. Stock up on some sweet yet believable responses like “…how lucky I am to have you” or “…what a wonderful person you are” to get you out of this tricky one.
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Is She Prettier Than Me?
“When we ask you how we look, it's okay to lie; when we ask you how she looks, you better lie.” Jennifer Love Hewitt
Yes we know you (not so) secretly lust after Angelina’s pout and ‘s legs but this is not the time for an honest answer. Whether it’s a hot celebrity, your ex girlfriend or a passer by – when we ask you if she’s prettier, obviously we want you to answer no. Women don’t like being compared. Period. No wishy washy answers like “Pretty is a relative term” or “Yes…but you’re beautiful on the inside” or “She’s a celebrity honey…of course she’s pretty”. Just a plain simple, not-so-obvious-you’re-lying “NO” is all we ask for.
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What Makes Me Attractive?
It’s really between the devil and the deep blue sea this time. Say “your brains” in an attempt to convince her you’re not superficial, and you’re just asking for another trick question, “So you think I’m ugly?”. But say “your body” and you’re automatically labeled superficial and “you have only one thing on your mind”.
Your safest bet? “You’re the whole package…beauty and brains”; “I’m attracted to everything about you” etc.
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Do You Love Me?
Yes we love to hear it and yes, sometimes we go a bit overboard. Aaah…well that’s us. But you need to be able to answer it right. If you love us, don’t just say “Yes”…a little sugar coating never hurt anyone. But if you don’t love us, you need to practice sidestepping with responses like “You’re such a great woman…I love being with you” etc. A smart woman will get it that you’re not ready to say it yet.
Under no circumstances should you say stuff like “Yeah…I guess so”; “Does that really matter?” or “What’s love go to do with it?”…
We’re really fabulous creatures…we are! But every once in a while we can get a little complicated. Sometimes we thrive on insecurity and your answer could make or break our world you know. So your well-planned thoughtful answers could score you some fabulous brownie points.
Warning: It’s not as easy as it looks. Practice is recommended.
With much love and sincerest sympathies,
The Women of the World
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and BBWCupid are trademarks of Cupid Media Pty Ltd.
I "DONT & DO NOT & CAN NOT" believe you posted this! I am what you all would call "A TRUE NERD"...! And you women are just one of the reason why I'm this way. I was a fat kid growing up never had lots of money (at that time) never had lots of friends. ALL through grade school, Jr. high an high school I was one of thoses fat boys that was"NEVER" kiss...! Did not have "SEX" until I was in my 20's street smarts was my father and I lost all my extra weight right after high school! I stil "LOVE" a "BIG" Girl...! I'm not going to give you a sad story because ever one has one BUT! I will say this! I REMEMBER ALL THE HURT! Being told when your just a kid that your not & will not be a man until you've been kiss or had sex! IT WAS ALL "BS"!!! "LIES"!!! There is one thing that we all have and should "NEVER" lose "NOT EVER EVEN IN THE SIGHT OF DEATH"! An that is our "HONESTY"...! This is what kept the little fat boy happy all through school being "HONEST" it was an STILL IS ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS" & will always be...! I WILL ALWAYS LOVE A LOT IN A pair of jeans AN MY HEART WILL NEVER CHANGE...! In the pass & even now I've learned to listen to what you Women; (That is your Hearts) are really saying! Even when you guys (grils that is) dont say it in words you say it "LOUDER IN ACTION" what you really LOVE, what you really want, what you cant live without! 1.HONEST 2.TRUSTWORTHY 3.FAITHFULNESS What about those "WORDS" you hear when one is being married! (I love you. You are my best friend. Today I give myself to you in marriage. I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle. I promise to love you in good times and in bad, when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when our love is simple, and when it is an effort. I promise to cherish you, and to always hold you in highest regard. These things I give to you today, and all the days of our life.) 1.I promise to encourage and inspire you "UNTIL YOU PUT ON A PAIR OF JEANS! 2.and to comfort you "BUT IT STOPS FOR A WHILE WHEN ITS TIME FOR “Football/Baseball/Basketball/ Cricket/Rugby” “Food” 3.I promise to love you in good times and in bad " BUT NOT When we ask Is She Prettier Than Me? it's okay to lie; when we ask you how she looks, you better lie. "BS" ALL OF IT...! DONT ASK ME TO LIE WHEN I GAVE BLOOD SWEAT & TEARS TO GET HERE IN THE HONESTY THAT YOU WOMEN SAY MEN DONT HAVE...! I PERFECTED MY HONEST BECAUSE IT IS PRICELESS TO MY HEART AN I KNOW THIS IS WHAT YOU WOMEN REALLY LOVE...! Other women do not stop being pretty or lovely once we'ved married you: Just like Diamonds at Tiffany & Co. Tiffany Engagement Rings when you get yours the others do not stop being "VERY EXPENSIVES LIKE THE ONE YOU JUST GOT"...! (Or might get or could get!) Some of us Men have worked very HARD to get here for your HEARTS Money is nothing Diamonds are nothing even GOLD can mean nothing if HONESTY TRUSTWORTHY FAITHFULNESS is not "FOUNDATED" IN LOVE"...! Money Diamonds GOLD only make life & "LOVE" more enjoyable...! You Women made me this way I chose not to be a MAN that LIES an I "LOVE" you for it you all have had "HIGH" demands of us MEN Please dont stop now are EVER...! From Me! An UnagingNERD!
BRAVO an honest man....make a very refreshing change
Every one has their own way of "THINKING HEARING SEEING & DOING THINGS" in life. If every one went into a relationship with a "WAR" attitude they would not be having "WAR" in their love life! BOOT CAMP is to prepare us for war that we might stay "ALIVE" after the war is over! Boy friend & GRIL friend relationships or to be treated as so (BOOT CAMP)! The ENEMYS of LOVE in a relationship are: 1.Lying 2.Insecureness 3.Laziness 4.Unfaithfulness 5.Unsupportive 6.Neglecting or Neglection if there is such a word! 7.Drugs 8.Being Negative 9.Irresponsibleness 10. Thinking with your Di#ks & Cl#ts instead of your "HEARTS"! Saying; (I'll show her or I'll show him attitude...!) Just these 10 things alone an everything that is associated with them; "KILL THEM!!! KILL THEM ALL!!!" When you spend your "PRICELESS" time with each other as Girl friends or Boy friends relationships (I call it BOOT CAMP for "MARRIAGE") Putting all these things to death your love life should stay "ALIVE" for the most part meaning you got to work at it & for it togather as "ONE" double teaming on these things...! For every ACTION there is a REACTION: Give NO OXYGEN "NONE WHAT SO EVER" to these things an the REACTION REWARDS are "PRICELESS" to the first down too the last "ORGASM" every day all the time for the rest of your lives as long as you both shell live. Aman...! This is how I "THINK"...! All the "HURT" in the pass made me what I am today...! Uncle Sam says he could use a few GOOD Men! I say to JUST ONE of you "BIG & BEAUTIFUL GIRLS"; Could you usE a "GOOD" Man like me for life? I'm here to stay "ALIVE"...! With "DISCIPLINE" IN LOVE...!
I can see both sides of this argument. The fact is, ladies, if you're asking some of these loaded questions, then you're probably not wanting an honest answer anyway. You're just looking for reassurance in your relationship, so you want the guy to tell you what you want to hear. At the same time, you can't say you value your man for his honesty while forcing him to lie. The solution? Don't ask loaded questions! You shouldn't *need* to ask "Do you love me?" because if he does, he'll tell you. You shouldn't need to ask "What are you thinking?" because as Al Bundy said, if he wanted you to know, he'd be talking, not thinking! And you should be confident enough in yourself to not ask "Do I look fat in this?" or "Is she prettier than me?" So stop asking the questions, or if you do, don't complain when he answers, whether he lies or tells the truth!
You shouldn't need to ask "What are you thinking?" because as Al Bundy said, if he wanted you to know, he'd be talking, not thinking! And you should be confident enough in yourself to not ask "Do I look fat in this?" Exactly! Ask a question like that and you should be prepared for another Bundy answer, it's not the outfit that makes you look fat, its the fat that makes you look fat!
I thought the post was light-hearted and even a little comical. The communication contract between two people can play along these lines in the beginning... but definitely should be far better developed with mature adults. At some point, we realize that finesse and tactfulness are just facets of compassion that we have for others beyond ourselves.
The Q's are good. A woman has to be open to accept correct answers. Q: Does..Jeans..Ass...look..fat? Yes thank God. I love the above average build and figure. I desire a woman to be secure with herself, mind and body. I am secure with saying so. Do these jeans accentuate my curves or wreck them? That is the intelligent question based in self love not a deceptive and untruthful cliche that should go away. The size and shape is my choice so how can I love her if she does not love herself? I say no baby, lets check out the Calvin Kleins....
Men always want confidence in a women, it's "Sexy" but what men need to learn, Is that not all women are, and they could never get over insecurities. Women want that Security that words can give them, yes you could be saying it with your actions but women are very adapt at second guessing themselves, afraid of rejection they ask these questions hoopeing to gain some sort of measure of just how much you want and care for her. Being a Large and lovely lady myself, it's makes me want to ask these questions myself, wether I know i'm asking them or not, society hasn't been kind to us Big beauties having it jammed down our throats from young ages that big is NOT beautiful is rather harsh and even as a young adult it's impossible to get these social "restrictions" as i call them, out of your subconcious, I know i'm a wonderful person, and asking these questions lets me know that my partner see's it aswell. And, sorry about the whole "PMS" thing guys, we try our best, really.
If a woman is asking if her ass looks big in her jeans..she already knows the answer and shouldn't then ask her man. Women of all sizes have insecurities about their bodies and big women will have the most. We have all looked at the mirror and wanted to be slender, but that doesn't stop you from feeling good about yourself. Sexiness comes from within and damn!!...big women can look sexy. When i dress up to go out, i know i look sexy and i feel it. Believe me, when you feel it you look it and you are it. I don't need to rely on any man to tell me that i look good when we meet, because i checked myself in the mirror before i left and i know i looked damn good. Don't get me wrong, compliments are good, but don't question yourself about how you look if he doesn't compliment you, question yourself about how he sees you. Why on earth would you ask your man if another woman looks prettier than you!! Whether you like it or not, there are other women in the world who are prettier than you, so deal with it. Remember, they do not have your man....you do! 'Love'is a precious word. Don't let your man over use it till its meaningless, just because you want to hear it and be reassured. Be confidennt in yourself and him (if he is a good man). If he has said it to you a few times...believe it. Know your worth. A good man knows a good woman, when he sees her.