Who Should Pay On A Date?

By Radhika | 15-Apr-09 in Dating
Radhika

The debate over this question could probably go on and on and we’ll probably never find a conclusive answer that everyone agrees with. So I figured I’d write about all the sides of this argument, and ask you what you think!

  • The Guy Should Always Pay

The most traditionally held view is the guy should always pay for a date. This stems from the days of yore when the men would make the money and the women would keep house. A guy who always pays is considered chivalrous and many women refuse to go out with men who don’t believe in always paying. While some men don’t like this, others take it as a personal insult if they aren’t allowed to pay on a date.

  • Who Did The Asking?

This is a common rule followed these days. Whoever does the asking pays for the date. So if a man asks you out to dinner, he should pay for it. But if you suggest going out for lunch the next day, you should pay for it.

  • Going Dutch

Some people insist the best way to go is dutch. Splitting the bill means no one person is constantly pressurized to foot the bill. Plus if there is no commitment in the relationship yet, this seems the fair thing to do. Also, for many independent women this is their way of asserting their financial independence.


Going Dutch
Do you prefer to go dutch? - photo by woodsy

  • The First Date

Most seem to believe the guy should pay for the first date as this is chivalrous and romantic and especially since it is more common that the guy asked the girl out. It is considered the right way to woo a lady. However, again there is no foolproof answer because, the independent woman might want to pay for herself; or the no-commitment argument for going dutch might be valid too.

  • Other Ways To Reciprocate

Many men have said they believe they should pay for the date but it’s always wonderful if the lady at least offers to pay. If one person is paying for the date, it’s only polite the other person reciprocates in whatever other way possible. So if your man insists on paying for dinner, you should insist on paying for pre-dinner drinks, tipping the waiter and paying for parking.


Five very valid arguments…however as is pretty obvious, answering this question is based solely on each individual’s discretion. I for one love it when a guy insists on paying for a date. However, I don’t think it’s fair that he always pays and insist on chipping in too.


What do you think?


(2 Comments)

My mother has always told me "Never let a guy pay on a date! always split the bill! because if they don't they feel intitled to something! and that something is sex!" But even without that warning I would always split the bill, it's just polite and I don't feel guilty for having my partner spend his hard earned money on me.

  • bill
  • 27-Apr-11 19:42

it depends on the person. i always expect to pay for at least the first date. but some girls have insisted that they pay while others want to go dutch. but my gut instinct is. i ask her out. i pay.

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