It’s the 21st century, men and women are supposed to be “equal” yet how often do you hear a gorgeous, smart, successful, independent woman complain that she can’t find a man who isn’t intimidated by her? But, are the men totally wrong or Is it possible the women are doing something wrong as well?
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying independent successful women are bringing this on to themselves. No matter what men say, they are intimidated and often choose to date someone who isn’t their “equal”. However, what I am saying is sometimes it may not always be the man’s fault alone and if we’re doing something wrong, we need to fix it right?
Love Isn’t About Being Smart
How smart you are might help you achieve great success in the professional world, but a relationship isn’t about being smart. Intelligent, successful women often assume that they will be able to figure out any relationship problems that come their way; the same way they figure it out in the business world. But all the intelligence in the world may not be enough to solve a tiny dating dilemma. Love strategies are an entirely different ball game. A business like approach to love isn’t the secret to success. Your EQ (Emotional Quotient) counts more than your IQ (Intelligence Quotient) here.
Attraction v. Success
Your success and independence doesn’t make you unattractive to men, but it doesn’t make you attractive either. Men are attracted to you – your personality, your femininity, your charm, your looks etc. Don’t assume they don’t like intelligent women – they do. But you shouldn’t assume your professional achievements or your financial success are reason enough for man to be attracted to you and fawn all over you. There is a difference between what impresses a potential boss and a potential boyfriend.
Independent Woman
No one’s denying that you’re an independent woman but you really don’t need to assert it every step of the way. What I’m saying is, a man should get the feeling you need the relationship to some extent. If you’re so hell bent on proving you don’t need anything or anyone to support you or be with you, you’re sending out the wrong signals. You can’t blame the men for assuming you don’t need them when that’s exactly the message you’re sending out.
The Control Factor
You’re used to being in control in your professional life and so you try to control your relationship too. It’s natural for you to take charge of a situation but that’s not how it has to work in a relationship. A relationship has to be well balanced with the couple taking charge together. However, if you insist on always being in control…you could end up scaring the guy away.
Don’t give your independence but at the same time, don’t be afraid to let a man into your life. It’s okay to need love and if he understands you can need him and be independent at the same time, ladies you’ve found yourself a really great guy.
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Hi, a very relevant subject in the relationship between the sexes right now, especially with the large scale breakdown in the family unit. I largely think you have answered your own question. Personally it is not the actual social status or success of any prospective partner that would intimidate me. It has a lot to do with how words are delivered and whether her friends and family seem generally accepting. For example: what would people close to a successful businesswoman (or celebrity etc) make of her new partner when she introduces him as say, unemployed? He may very well be a wonderful guy, might even have been a househusband but you can bet your boots the majority will judge him by his (lack of) status. Therefore, I think it is more a case of the bigger picture that has already intimidated a lot of men before any one particular successful and independent woman approaches him, not that a lot of women of any sort of background approach men but that's another discussion. Well done to all you (friendly) independent women out there but just remember not all men judge by status. To live together happily, any couple have to be emotionally compatible.